How To Say No To Customers (And Why It’s Sometimes Necessary)

Every great customer service representative has struggled with saying no.

It’s practically ingrained into your subconscious that the “customer is always right”, even if they aren’t. Sometimes far from it. And yet, you’re led to believe you need to do everything in your power to please them. 

In reality, this isn’t always possible.

Often, it’s failure to deliver on unrealistic promises that results in negative sentiment toward your brand. Unfortunately, these “misaligned expectations” result in major problems for customer service and ROI.

While saying no feels counterintuitive, it can ultimately work in your business’ favor.

Let’s break down the stigma around saying no to customers. We’ll talk about when you might need to do it, and how to make the interaction as positive as possible for both your team and customers.

When Saying No in Customer Service Is Appropriate (And What You Can Say Instead)

Give them an inch…

Before we get into specific scenarios, you’ll need to assess what falls within your customer service policy. In what situations is your team able to make exceptions and go off-script? 

If you already have clear policies drafted, you know what guidelines you’re supposed to follow. Before determining when to say no and when to make an exception, consult your customer service training manual:

• Can exceptions be made for specific customers or within reason?
• Do service level staff have the power to veto what’s outlined, or do they need to consult with a manager/supervisor?

Many of these situations can be anticipated and prepared for beforehand. For those that aren’t, or where saying no is the best option, here are our hard-earned tips and guidelines.

When the Customer Wants You To Go Against the Policy (Or the Request Is Unreasonable)

This is the most common situation your support team will encounter. For example, customers may want you to go against your policies in order to refund or credit their accounts.

Keep in mind that the customer may take advantage of any one-time “exception”, and continue a pattern of behavior that exploits your goodwill gesture. They then expect this same level of service, and believe the rules won’t apply to them (because they were bent in the past).

I’ve seen it many times. And this is where exceeding customer expectations can actually hurt your ROI.

Research supports this too. Somewhere around 60% of customers are “rule-benders” and believe “it’s easy to take advantage of loopholes”. They often justify this behavior by “demonizing the business”.

Unfortunately, an estimated 25% will “intentionally takes advantage” of support teams for their own monetary gain. And that adds up to a lot of lost revenue over time.

What Does an Unreasonable Request Look Like in Customer Support?

In my previous retail positions, customers often wanted us to accept returns that fell outside of our return policies. While we allowed for some leniency on a case-by-case basis (typically high-profile customers), some people took this exception to its logical extreme.

I once allowed a customer a return for goods they had already clearly used – but were now suddenly having an allergic reaction to. They were 10 months outside of the return policy, which meant they had been using the product for close to a year.

I felt bad for their situation, as they claimed the product resulted in a nasty rash they needed a dermatologist to fix. So, I made a ‘one-time’ exception.

Fast forward a full year. They call back regarding a different order. Same issue – allergic reaction. Even though I had accepted the previous return, I told them no this time. And firmly.

After all, our return policy was to be strictly implemented. Products were only eligible for a refund if returned within 60 days.

What did the customer do?

They flipped out. Said they would leave horrible reviews all over social media and never shop with us again. So not only did we lose this customer, but we also lost money in the process. Our return policy was forgone, thinking it would increase ROI. It did the opposite.

How To Say No In This Context

In these situations, you’ll need to transition from saying “yes, and…” to “no, but…”

If you accept every unreasonable request that comes your way, you’ll hurt your business’ bottom line. Worse yet, you’ll prime customers with unrealistic expectations that you can’t deliver on.

When you do finally say no (and you will have to, eventually) the customer will be even more frustrated than if you had redirected their initial request.

These sorts of situations aren’t exclusive to refund requests. For example, SaaS customers may ask you to go against the policy and provide them with features reserved for a higher-tier plan.

Here are some helpful tips for replying to these customers.

Provide an Alternate Solution

Use “no, but…”

Sometimes, this is as simple as processing a store credit rather than a full refund.

Unfortunately, we aren’t able to provide a refund on that product, as the order was placed three months ago. It falls outside of our 10-day return policy, as outlined here. However, if it is still sealed, we can happily offer an online store credit instead.

In this example, you still:

• Provide the customer with a solution (store credit).
• Don’t break your policy (no refunds after 10 days).
• Point them towards where your policy is posted on your website (evidence that it’s documented in writing).

Other situations may be a little more complex. Let’s look at a customer who is reaching out to a SaaS company to try and get a feature for free (that’s normally restricted to a more expensive plan):

You can again use “no, but…” to redirect the customer.

Either reaffirm the value of these added features (and explain why there is an additional cost associated with them) OR point them toward other features that serve a similar purpose. Perhaps they don’t actually need the more expensive features right now.

Unfortunately, we wouldn’t be able to add a single feature to a pre-existing account under a different tier plan. We would be happy to discuss the value of those added features (and explain why there is an increased cost involved). We’ve invested a lot of time to ensure they’re optimized for our customers, and the pricing reflects that.

That being said, there are plenty of handy automation features that serve a similar purpose. What are your goals for AI in customer support? Maybe I can help you find another way to achieve those goals.

Probe the Customer for More Information

Asking a leading question is a another way to redirect the customer. You may be able to retain them and address the root cause.

For instance, your customer might demand reimbursement for an annual subscription on your SaaS product. Really, they just struggled to locate a feature that was there the whole time.

So before giving a yes or a no, take some time to fully understand what’s going on. It’s a hallmark of empathetic customer support, and often allows you to solve the customer’s problem without breaking the rules.

This customer has reached out for a refund due to a lack of useful features:

In this scenario, your team can try to draw out more information from the customer, to see what the reason behind the request is:

• Have they actually found the tools within the product that enable success?
• Did they made it through the onboarding process?
• Are the features they’re looking for locked into a high-tier plan?

Can you tell me a little more about why you need a refund for a full year of service with our product? Perhaps there’s something I can personally do to address the problems you’re experiencing.

In this case, the problem could likely have been prevented through transparent pricing. Which is another very important point.

After resolving the issue one way or another, don’t simply mark it as done and move on. Instead, make note of it. Recurring complaints can clue you in on how to proactively avoid the need to say no to customers in the first place.

When the Customer Is Verbally Abusive (And You Need To Set Boundaries)

Frustrated, annoyed, and upset customers aren’t inherently abusive customers.

Your customers may take a defensive or argumentative tone that treads the line between valid complaint and overtly aggressive.

Occasionally, these conversations can escalate. Anyone who has worked in-person retail (especially in the food service industry) can probably relate. It’s demoralizing and dehumanizing to be attacked just because you can’t fulfill the customer’s request.

It’s the sad reality – not all customers will be polite when asking for help.

There is no channel free from abusive customers. Any place where customers interact with your support staff poses this risk. While the first instinct in these situations is often retaliation (or to ‘mirror’ the problematic behavior), there are much better ways to shut it down and mitigate the situation.

What Does Verbal Abuse Look Like in Customer Support?

We wouldn’t want to post a bunch of examples of racist, homophobic, sexist, or ableist remarks. These are obvious and clear-cut verbal abuse.

If you receive any of these types of comments, they should not be tolerated. While you can correct the customer’s language and behavior, it’s often not worth engaging the situation.

But there are many other forms of verbal abuse:

• Swearing and profanity are common when people are frustrated. Usually, this behavior is easily ignored or redirected. It becomes more problematic when directed at you.
• Direct threats are more obvious, and often used in email communication or live chat channels due to perceived anonymity. Sometimes, customers will threaten to “get you fired” if you don’t do what they want.
• Insults and personally charged attacks are sometimes used in frustration, but always cross boundaries. They’re never justified or acceptable. It constitutes verbal abuse when customers take things a step further than merely calling you ‘incompetent’.
• Unwanted advances or flirtatious remarks happen in physical spaces and online. They can happen to anyone, and should be taken seriously. Usually, they warrant alerting an immediate supervisor or manager.

Verbal Abuse or ‘Just’ Customer Frustration?

Here’s an example of what I would consider to be a verbally abusive customer. They’re swearing. They’re threatening legal action. And they’re making an unreasonable request as a demand.

Abusive behavior should never be justified ‘just because’ a customer is frustrated.

What I wouldn’t consider verbal abuse:

• Condescending language may be insulting, but it typically doesn’t constitute abuse if it isn’t personal. It’s rarely threatening. Think of a sarcastic comment like “Thanks for nothing…” The customer is clearly aggravated, but they aren’t lashing out at you.
• Degrading remarks about your business happen when customers become upset. They need somewhere to direct their emotions. Again, while this is often insulting, it usually isn’t personal. Rarely is it abusive. Think about how many times you’ve heard someone blame a delivery company because their package got stolen.

How To Say No In This Context

At what point is devoting time/energy into a customer who is actively degrading your business (or you) worthwhile?

Usually, if a business has a lot of experience dealing with inflammatory customers, these concerns will be addressed during the onboarding or training stage:

• Do you still value their business? 
• Does your business have specific policies/procedures in place for abusive customers/behavior against an agent? 

Why is saying ‘no’ important here? If you let verbal abuse continue, it (unfortunately) enables the customer to keep pushing the limits.

You may simply need to refuse service to these customers, based on policy or a personal threshold of comfort. With that being said, if you still want (or need) to address the customer, there are a couple of approaches you can take.

Personalize the Interaction

We’ve all seen how vicious internet forums and message boards can become. YouTube comments are a cesspool. The perceived anonymity fuels unhealthy behavior. People say things they would never dare say in face-to-face interactions.

As a result, customer service is especially prone to abuse across live chat and email channels.

You can counter this through personalization. Reply using the customer information gathered from your CRM or help desk tool.

In Groove, our customer support help desk for small businesses, this data is collected and displayed right alongside the ticket you’re working on:

Use the customer’s name at the beginning of your response, and connect their conversation to their order history or account data. Introducing yourself using your own name reaffirms that you’re a real person with human emotions (not a faceless void).

Redirect the Request

The most important thing to keep in mind when dealing with abusive customers is self-preservation. Don’t take it personally, even if it is a personal attack. The customer doesn’t ‘know’ you. Unfortunately, you’re the point of contact for the business, and the one who will be vented to as a result.

If things are too much to handle, or have crossed an unacceptable personal boundary, most email clients and help desk tools allow you to block an email address by adding it to a blacklist:

In Groove, you can also implement custom rules to filter emails for things like profanity:

Your support team may be told to implement supervisor intervention when abusive language or threats are used. In these situations, your support tool should allow you to assign these emails/tickets to a manager or supervisor to handle instead:

Remember, you’re not alone. If an interaction is frustrating or upsetting, or you’re simply not sure how to handle it, bring in your team! Collaboration leads to better customer service and more confident responses, whether positive or negative.

Saying No Doesn’t Have To Be the Death Knell To Quality Customer Service 

Saying no often isn’t about outright denial of a customer request. Instead, it’s about providing an alternate solution, clarifying a policy, or redirecting into further support. Either way, the goals are to help the customer as much as you can, and set clear expectations for future interactions.

All of this is a lot easier with the right all-on-one support tool. Groove helps your team collaborate, manage expectations, and personalize the CX, so you can better assist customers even when what they want isn’t possible.

Your customer service policies can be housed in an easily accessible knowledge base. Beyond that, handy automation features, customer profiles, and a live chat widget help you maintain consistent support that’s scalable – both when you’re saying no and when you’re saying yes.

Sign for up a free trial of Groove today, and give your support team the tools they need to help all your customers effectively and efficiently!